Introduction

Children don’t experience relationships through big events — they experience them through the little patterns and routines.

As long-distance grandparents, it’s easy to believe that the big visits and special trips are what matter most. But children measure connection differently.

They remember repetition. They remember rhythm. They remember how it always feels when they’re with you.

In this video, I’m sharing why anticipation and tiny rituals can actually become one of the greatest strengths of a long-distance relationship — plus one simple ritual you can try this week.

You don’t need bigger moments. You just need something small… repeated with love.

If this resonated with you, I’d love to know — is there something small you already do every time you talk with your grandchild?

Interested in more simple ritual ideas to share with your grandchildren? Try my Teeny Tiny Stories. You can download the free printables here at https://tammykersey.com/tiny-landing.

New here? I’m Tammy — a children’s picture book author and virtual Grammy sharing what I’m learning about storytime, connection, and long-distance grandparenting. I hope you’ll connect with me!

Video

What Grandchildren Actually Remember (It’s Not the Big Moments)

Listen, Like & Subscribe on...

Try my Teeny Tiny Stories!

Teeny Tiny Storiesare an easy, but meaningful way to weave deeper connections through the magical world of storytelling. This resource is designed for loving grandparents like you, eager to turn every virtual visit into an unforgettable shared adventure.

👉 Find the FREE PRINTABLES here!

Grab my Free Guide!

👉 Grab your FREE guide The Storytime Shortcut! 5 Secrets to Have Your Grandkids Begging for More–Even Over Zoom! right here! And don’t forget to share this video with another grandparent who could use some fresh inspiration.

🎥 Video Transcript

INTRODUCTION

I used to think the moments that mattered most had to be big.

The long visits.
The holidays.
The special trips you count down to for weeks.

Those felt like the moments that counted.

But recently, I started noticing something that completely changed the way I see grandparenting.

Children don’t experience relationships as events. They experience them as patterns.

They don’t think,
“Grandma visited last month.”

They feel,
“This is how it always feels when I’m with her.”

And once I understood that… everything shifted.

ANTICIPATION — The Deeper Layer

A few weeks ago, I talked about anticipation.

About how, when you don’t live nearby, your time together doesn’t just happen. It’s planned.

And that planning creates something powerful — children look forward to you.

But here’s the part I didn’t fully say then:

Anticipation isn’t just excitement.

It’s emotional preparation.

When a child knows you’re calling every Wednesday at bedtime…
or every Thursday after lunch…
their connection with you actually begins before the call does.

They think about it.
They expect it.
Their little nervous system settles into the idea of seeing you and experiencing something predictable.

And predictable feels safe.

Without even trying, you’ve become something steady in their week.

That’s not small.

BIG MOMENTS VS. RITUALS

We tend to focus on size as adults.

How long the visit was.
How far we traveled.
How much we did.

But children measure differently.

They measure through repetition.

The way you always say hello.
The way storytime always begins.
The phrase you repeat before you hang up.
The little rhythm that never changes.

Big moments do create memories.

But Rituals create belonging.

And belonging is what lasts.

To us, repetition can feel ordinary and boring.

To a child, repetition feels like security.

It says,
“This relationship is dependable.”
“This person shows up.”
“This is ours.”

THE LONG-DISTANCE ADVANTAGE

Here’s what may be surprising and comforting to us as long distance grandparents.

Distance changes the shape of a relationship — but it doesn’t reduce its depth.

In some ways, it invites intention.

When you live far away, you’re not part of everyday life. Your time together stands out.

It becomes protected.

And protected time naturally creates rituals.

As Long-distance grandparents we worry that we’re missing out.

But we may actually be building one of the most intentional relationships in our grandchild’s life.

One small rhythm at a time.


TINY RITUAL: Countdown Hug

Children love knowing what comes next.

So here’s a tiny ritual you might try.

At the end of your call, before you hang up, say: “Let’s do a countdown hug!”

Count backwards together.

Five…
Four…
Three…
Two…
One…

And then both of you squeeze yourselves tight.

And if this little idea becomes a new shared way of connecting together…It isn’t really about the hug.

It’s about knowing this is how you always say goodbye.

It becomes something they can count on.

And tiny rituals… become big memories.

CLOSING REFLECTION

If you sometimes worry that distance means you matter less…

I want you to consider this.

You don’t need bigger moments.

You don’t need elaborate plans.

You don’t need to compete with proximity.

Just choose something small.

And repeat it.

Because children don’t remember the length of a moment.

They remember how it felt.

And you get to shape that — even from far away.

Here's the link to the free resource: https://tammykersey.com/shortcut-landing

You can sign up for my weekly email at https://tammykersey.com/email